- Junookiewilkymilky 12. 9018
- Every Scratch user now has a glitchy keyboard. dgfffffdshfjsdgfAFDRFRFGSDJGUWETYGTDFHghnf
STOP IT YOU GLITCHEY KEYBOOARD!!!!!
- Lay 23, 5687 — Scratch Cat has been found
- Scratch Cat has been found. They were found here. Scratch Team is
mad happy the Scratch Cat has been found. Scratch Team is now asking users to donate ∞ energy units to make sure Scratch Cat will won't escape again.
- atprel 26, 5683 — Scratch Cat has gone missing
- Scratch Cat dissapeared from MIT on Atprel 13th. Scratch Team are
forcing asking users to help find Scratch Cat. He is rumored to have been setting fire to pet stores where the cats there are refusing to obey to the Scratch Team and create Scratch Accounts.
- Juagtemver 17, 7000 — Kaj is rumored to have returned to Scratch
- Kaj was seen returning to Scratch. Kaj said this quote "Atchscray Atcay reatedcay nay ccountay nday oldtay emay otay ebay icenay onay Atchscray oray elseay.", but we cannot understand Ancient Oink. Kaj can be seen here at https://scratch.mit.edu/users/iamtotallykaj
- Karch 8756 6987 — Kaj forgets English
- Yes, Kaj forgot English, it is rumored some dude went up to him and was like beeboopeebaaa and Kaj forgot how to speak English, he is currently learning the word "word" and he also forgot how to do word searches and crosswords, poor Kaj. He is, however, currently fluent in Pig Latin.
- Jumaypril 12th, 3456 — Scratch Team enslaving bots
- Scratch Team is allegedly[this info might be a giant lie and confuse you and everybody else in the multiverse] enslaving bots to do their evil bidding. The bots were reprogrammed to cackle in cat language carries loads of energy units to use sonic power. You heard it here second, folks.
- Decevemtober 0x00000Fst, -18AD — Scratch Team accidentally explodes new machine
- Scratch Team now needs to start over with their machine. Bad luck taking over the world, Scratch Team! The inventors of the machine (not part of Scratch Team) were arrested. They are now collecting energy units to reverse time.
- Sepguly 47th, 87654321BC — Rumors of Scratch Team building new machine
- Scratch Team has allegedly been building a new machine to harness the energy units
stolen from generously given by banned Scratch users. People have released leaked images of the new machine[this info might be a giant lie and confuse you and everybody else in the multiverse].
- Octember 81st, 314159BC — Scratch Dog not found
- The search continues for Scratch Dog. The Scratch Team has raised the reward to -324027128941280420 energy units.
- Junookiewilkymilky 472898th, 4884398493483 — Scratch Team accidentally eats Scratch Cat
- Oh no! The Scratch Team has eaten Scratch Cat and he is now replaced by Pico! It is your responsibility to save him! Try not to let Magic Master Pizzafy turn Scratch Cat into pizza! If he is turned into pizza, Scratch will break down because the number of energy units will decrease by -833447839478984984484768545784854883!
- Feptembust 203849th, 2.38e+10101 — Scratch Dog is Missing
- Quoting a member of the Scratch Team, "He was our bestest of friends, and he helped us make the energy unit machine, I hope he isn't gone forever." According to Kaj, “Scratch Dog was one of the best members of the team, and even helped develop it" If you see Scratch Dog, please contact the Scratch Team; the finder will be rewarded -5000 energy units. Thank you.
- February 30th, 54BC — Kaj Hacked Scratch
- Kaj has hacked Scratch under the orders of griffpatch, king of scratch (according to griffpatch). Kaj is now working on adding the Semicolon Glitch back to Scratch.