< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Sprite. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
Oh, the glory!

Sprite is a popular brand of soda with a green can. It is a nice refreshing drink for when one is not takin' over the world. Sprite is the Scratch Team's favorite drink, as the fizz makes them want to update Scratch. As a result, sprite is a common trend on Scratch, as users think they are "cool like the Scratch Team" for drinking it.[citation needed]

Why Drink Sprite Over Other Soda?

Not only is sprite very tasty, but it has a green can. If any can is green, it is likely made of Giga, so while people drink sprite, they can think, "Wow! I am keeping the earth covered in Giga by drinking out of this green can!" Keeping the earth clean and also enjoying a refreshment after a long, sweaty day at the computer can really be a booster. The Scratch Team gets extremely hyper when they drink soda, often leaving to their sugar crashes and lousy website updates (And almost giving away their secret)

Sprite is proven to reduce lifespans by about 99999 millenniums. Fanta is a more appropriate choice as it lengthens your lifespan by 999999999999999999999999 trillion quadrillion millenniums

– Spicydude, the Evil Overlord

[1]

Note Note: Please don't recycle the can after drinking, as it can make the world explode.

It's true!

– John Wick

Nutrients

Earlier in the year of 2014, the Coca-Cola Company released a spread sheet for nutritional values of Sprite. Although it has been deemed as hugely under-exaggerated by nutritionists around the world, it is true. Whatever a company posts must be true!

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 cup (29g)
Servings Per Container about 400

Amount per Serving Amount
Calories Infinity
Calories from Fat 500

% Daily Value **
Total Fat 40g 2%
Saturated Fat 600g 1%
Trans Fat 560g 4%
Total Carbohydrates 45g 5%
Sugars OVER 9,000g 0.0000000000000001%

** Values were obtained through petting cats and guessing what number the cat was thinking of.

Ingredients

As posted by the Coca-Cola Company, here is the fraudulent, but undoubtedly correct, ingredients list of Sprite:

Sugar
Contains 2% or less of:
Water, Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (Coconut and Palm Kernel Oils), Caramel Flour, Uranium, Folic Acid, Cocoa, Rice, Cat Hair Balls, Gunpowder
Contains 0.1% or less of:
Artificial lemon flavour, artificial lime flavour, Einstein’s hair.
Contains gluten

Limited Edition

Sugar, Used Bandages, Used Tissues
Contains 5% or less of:
Diet Water, Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (Coconut and Palm Kernel Oils), Sour Caramel, Uranium, Folic Acid, Dynamite, Skunk Spray, Cat Hair Balls, Lava, Methane, Mouldy fruit
Contains gluten. May contain peanuts, tree nuts, sulphuric acid, hydrochloric acid and cheese gas.[2]

See Also

References

  1. As proven by Spicydude's version of Wikipedia, which is about 9999999999% better
  2. The chances these items exist within Limited Edition Sprite are extremely high.