< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Signature. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.

A signature is what you do on the forums to let the world know you've been there. This can also be done on the Wiki.

How to do it

Once you've made a post, you need to put your signature on it so people know you were there. Take a Sharpie marker and scribble your real name (not your Scratch username) directly onto your computer screen. Make sure that you don't forget your first AND last names (and your middle name if you have one)! If you want, you can use colored sharpies, but the thiqqest black one you can find works best. Make sure it is a permanent marker but it should be washable too.

What happens

The ink from your Sharpie marker bleeds into your computer screen and stains your post. It doesn't save for every post so make sure you do it every time. If you forget to sign your post then the Scratch Team will send Evil Kumquats to go to your house and eat your computer. Then, they ban you.

Why you should sign your posts

A lot of users wonder why they should sign their posts. The first and foremost reason is so that the Scratch Team doesn't eat your computer. Another, slightly less well-known reason is because if you don't use washable permanent sharpies, you computer screen will still have your signature on it. Then you can beg your mother to get you a newer, better computer. If she asks why just blame it on your little brother or the filthy neighborhood cat.

Note Note: Washable permanent sharpies are hard to find and typically cost about $991,432,739,047,832,965 rupees or more. Not the rupees that are real but the Legend of Zelda currency. You can also buy them for four hundred billion trillion quintillion bitcoins. You can't use a washable Sharpie unless it is ALSO permanent. But, if you have to choose between washable and permanent, always choose permanent.

If you use a washable permanent Sharpie

If you do end up getting one of these Sharpies, you have to soak your computer in the bathtub with your dog for three days. Make sure to remove the screen and put it in first but make sure you put the rest of your computer in there with it. If you want your computer to keep working after you wash it, make sure to put about 10 grains of cooked rice in the bath with it.

Wiki Signatures

A wiki signature is like the same but a billion times more important. They're a bit different because every user has an assigned color Sharpie. Instead of signing your name, you fill in your entire computer screen. You still need to get a washable permanent Sharpie though.