|This is an April Fools' Day version of Scratch Statistics. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.|
Scratch Statistics show statistics on every Scratcher, including their address and Social Security Number (or other form of government ID). You need to be a Scratch Team member to access it, but you can fake out the system by pasting this in The Console:
If you don't know how to paste in The Console, then you aren't worthy enough to access the Scratch Statistics. Mobile users can't access The Console either, but the Scratch Team hates them anyway because they can't access Scratch to give energy points.