|This is an April Fools' Day version of Scratch Bit. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.|
Item #: IPS-1221
Object Class: Educational
Internal Protection Standards: IPS-1221 is currently located in a standard anomalous object container in Site-05-15-07. Personnel may not interact with any instance of IPS-1221 without explicit permission from a director of Site-05-15-07. If any instances of IPS-1221 are discovered, Mobile Task Force Gobo-04 ("New Scratchers") will be deployed to retrieve the anomalous objects.
Description: IPS-1221 is the collective designation for a group of exactly seven (7) small disc-shaped machines, labeled IPS-1221-1 through -7. Each instance is white with an orange button in the center. Additionally, four (4) evenly-spaced arrows are present pointing in perpendicular directions on the top, with a single light located beneath each one.
IPS-1221's anomalous properties manifest when connected to a personal computer running the computer software known as "Scratch 3.0." Upon being connected to an instance of IPS-1221 through [DATA EXPUNGED] technology, the computer will begin to anomalously receive data based on current attributes of the IPS-1221 instance and its surroundings. How IPS-1221 achieves this is unknown.
Instances of IPS-1221 have been proven to be influenced by the following external stimuli. The exact number of attributes that IPS-1221 can detect is undetermined.
- Motion (or lack thereof)
- Angle of rotation
- Current state of button
- Light level
Discovery: The first contained instance of IPS-1221 was taken from a school in ███ █████, ███████████. Local police were stunned by its ability to sense whether or not the lights were on, and agents were deployed to retrieve the object. All witnesses were amnesticized, and the student who wrote the anomalous program (now known as POI-███) was interrogated for information. A log of the interview is stored in Document 1221-A. Instances -2 and -3 were recovered in similar conditions.
IPS-1221-4 was discovered in the personal belongings of Dr. ████████████. Dr. ████████████ claims that he had been planning to add it to the database, but "never really got around to it."
The remaining three IPS-1221 instances were discovered during a raid of the GOI-███ headquarters. Of note was an image retrieved from a personal computer at the site; the image appears to depict an alternate version of IPS-1221. Whether or not more instances of IPS-1221 remain uncontained is currently unknown.
- "Because they probably have, like, mind control, or something." - Dr. ████████████
- Anomalous properties have not been noted in previous versions of the software.
- Authorization to open an instance of IPS-1221 in order to study its components
is currently pendinghas been denied. "This is dangerous stuff we're dealing with. What if it detects this and becomes hostile?" - ██-8
- "Except for IPS-1221-4, but I dropped that one." - Dr. █████████
- "They're targeting our children! How despicable!" - Dr. ██████
- "After we amnesticized them. They weren't all that cooperative, to be honest." - Dr. ████████
- "It's not that stupid of a thing to do, I swear! You guys are such hypocrites!" - Dr. ████████████