< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Scratch. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
Thumbsdown.png This page is in question to whether it is useful or not. This usually means that people hate it but don't want to say that outright. You can discuss whether you want it deleted or not on its talk page, although probably nobody will. Really, you should avoid taking an opinion on this page because it makes you look biased. Why am I putting this here again?
You are useless. Get a life.

– Everyone mentioned here



Scratch in its most energetic form

Scratch is an advertisement-filled programming language designed to make people cry and give up on all computer science[1], ruled by the totalitarian Scratch Team, who want people to experience the difficulty of programming. The program is heavilly moderated to make people suffer on Scratch.

Scratch Goals

The creator of Scratch has the following goals:

  • To create a lot of trolling in the World Wide Web
  • Make money
  • To make kids hate computers more by struggling to design anything, then ban them after they eat their computer and delete their Scratch Account
  • Extract energy units from projects to take over the world
  • Increase swearing (and ban the people who don't swear in order to earn a 9.001% energy unit bonus!)
  • Use said energy units to bribe our R&D team to find out what energy units actually are

Interview

Before fleeing to Antarctica, the creator of Scratch, andresmh, was interviewed by a news station. After having difficulty tracking him down, this following interrogation was performed:

What do you really hope to bring to the world of computer science with this program?

– News

What program?

– Creator

The programming language you designed.

– News

I really hope to lower the quality of video games to relive my Atari days.

– Creator

The Future of Scratch

With many hurting economies and people struggling with life, the creator of Scratch realizes of his own needs and will continue to increase the price of Scratch. Currently, the Scratch program is sold for a cheap $500. However, sometimes it does not install properly and will require being bought again with, of course, the $1,000,000 Tech Support.

Scratch, currently running on Adobe Flash version 1.0, will eventually upgrade and support the brand new features of Flash 2.0.

System Requirements

With many operating systems today, Scratch supports a ton. The creator of Scratch focuses on creating a flexible program which will download and run easily on many devices, even mobile ones.

Note Note: Scratch does not run properly on later versions of ENIAC, UNIVAC, Windows, Mac OS X, all distros of Linux, iOS, IBM OS/2, Raspberry Pi, Windows Phone, Ubuntu Phone, Firefox OS, Sailfish OS, Tizen, Blackberry, Android, ChromeOS, Nokia, JunkOS, ScratchOS, ExplodingOS and WoofOS. To run this, you must run this on Windows ME, Windows Vista, Windows 8[2], Windows 10 that crashes at least once per second, Mac OS X 10.7, Mac OS X 10.10 or Shamshung OS. ..Or maybe just don't.

References

  1. Then the Scratch Team ban them.
  2. Running it on 8.1 will crash your computer