< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Questions about Scratch (forum). Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
The Questions about Scratch forum is a place where you can discuss the scratches that you have gotten from the Scratch Cat and ask questions about why the Scratch Cat scratched you (as well as cures and cold cream to reduce pain). Many Scratchers come to this forum and discuss this, because the Scratch Cat would scratch you if you move it around in the editor. The Scratch Cat loves to stay in the center of the screen, so if you move the Scratch Cat even just one subpixel, you will get scratched. Topics complaining about Scratch Cat scraping them when Scratch Day events are created are usually on Scratch Day.

What Happens When you Create a Topic

Once you create a topic, the Scratch Team will shut down the website and tell the Scratch Cat to stop scratching people when it is not in the center of the screen or Scratch Day events are shut down. Then, after the Scratch Cat gets an alert, the website will be back on. Then, your topic will have a response from the Scratch Cat saying to not move him from the center of the screen or create their own Scratch Day event again.

The Scratch Team used to offer Sonic '06 as a cruel punishment[1], but after a large rebellion in which people complained and got blinded by a drawing, they stopped.[2]

Solutions

Because the Scratch Cat needs to stay in the center of the screen, there are some solutions. You can use Gobo as a sprite, because he doesn't mind if he gets moved from the center of the screen. Or, you can use any other sprite besides the Scratch Cat.

You can make a script like the following:
when green flag clicked
wait (600) secs
set x to (1)
and run away fast whilst listening to this song[3].

For Scratch Day stuff, you can just not celebrate Scratch Day.

The ScratchBoard (now PicoBoard) was once used to stop Scratch Cat from scratching by strapping him onto the board and let me watch Frozen or play Mega Man. However, all attempts failed since bad Scratch Cat kept scratching the users. Then the original purpose was dropped out and replaced with making Pico happy.

Reducing Scratches Pain

Scratchers[4] have recommended Blue Ice Cream from Itch & Co.[5]To use this cream, pour all contents into a medium bucket and dip wash your scratches with it for 3 hours. This cream is effective for reducing pain, although it's icy cold. For those who can't stand Ice Cream, there's Red Spicy Tomato Sauce from Bad Boys Inc, famous for its really hot content. This sauce will reduce pain but will add itch, as well as stinky smells that make Scratch Cat hungry. You can also remove a scratch with two more scratches.

Consequences

When Scratch Cat tried to scratch you, he might spot a bar of chocolate in your room and take it with him. It is reported that Scratch Cat is obsessed with blue things such as solar panels disappearing. Many Scratchers held a demonstration when Scratch Cat ate their pie on 3-14-15.

He will also download billions of viruses on your computer and encrypt all your files, including system files you cannot access at all. He will unencrypt them and delete all of the viruses when you play this song on your phone.

Also, if he scratches you, he will scratch with his really deep claws that will hurt like a shark biting (Jaws?). The pain will last for lifetime. He can spread germs (or even rabies) so if you get infected, this means you have to take a double scratch (AKA get a shot from your average doctor which hurts like Scratch Cat's scratch).

Stickies

  • Why the Scratch Cat Scratched You
  • Use Gobo if You Want Your Sprite to Move
  • Why The Website is Down Very Often
  • READ THIS FIRST BEFORE ASKING HOW TO STOP BAD CAT FROM SCRATCHING!
  • Please don't host Scratch Day Events
  • Why you don't want to post
    • Everytime you do, Bart Simpson will reply back with "Why you little, Homer!" or "Why you little, *insert your username here*!"

References

  1. https://wiki.scratch.mit.edu/w/index.php?title=Scratch_Wiki:April_Fools/Questions_about_Scratch_(forum)&oldid=146135
  2. YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
  3. This song is commonly used by Scratchers for celebrating their escape from Scratch Cat.
  4. or spammers?
  5. "Try out our Icabu, an Icy Blue Cream from Itch & Co." ~Spammers