|| This is an April Fools' Day version of How do I become a Scratcher?. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
There are 3 ways that you can become a Scratcher. The first way is that you go to Massachusetts, enter the MIT Media Lab, approach a Scratch Team member logged into their account, and shove them away from their computer while you go to your account and promote yourself to a Scratcher.[this info might be a giant lie and confuse you and everybody else in the universe]
The second way is that you write a program outside of Scratch that automatically makes you a Scratcher when you join. The final way, is to literally scratch your profile picture. This makes you a "Scratcher", someone who scratches things.
Nobody bothers, however, to actually meet the "requirements".
You can also scratch your head. Voila! You're a Scratcher! Congrats!