< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Flame War. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
GIANT Flame War
Note Warning: Flames war are deadly and are supervised by professionals. Don't try any of these at home.

A flame war is a giant battle in Scratch which Scratchers battle using fire-related weapons. The Scratch Team likes this kind of war since flames done with glitches make them powerful[1].

Techniques

Offense

  • Flamethrowers Special flametrooper soldiers arrive at the topic and begin fighting. The entire topic usually burns down and turns into a bandage illusion.
  • Match Your Face! A Scratcher lights a match and brushes the flame over the opponent's face.
  • Gasoline Bucket A Scratcher pours gasoline from a bucket on the opponent and lights fire. Since this is fatal and claimed most of the lives, this technique is now banned the most common.
  • Nuke by Fire A Scratcher lights a candle, throw it to the opponent, and then drops a mine.
  • Wildfire on just one tree If the opponent escapes onto a tree, a Scratcher can defeat by setting fire on the tree.
  • YOLO IT! A Scratcher grabs a bunch of matches, lights them, and runs at other Scratchers, with no idea of what to actually do with the matches.
  • Fire Arrows! Someone grabs a bow, gets arrows, sets them ablaze and shoots their opponents. This is so dangerous, it is banned as common as Gasoline.
  • Pyrokinesis Someone either born with this ability or with magic words sets fire to someone or something else only with their mind.
  • Molotov cocktail Pull out what looks like an ordinary root beer bottle, but with special gas inside. Throw it at your opponent and run.
  • Torches The medieval kind. Plop it on someone else as if it were a hat shaped like an ice cream cone.

Defense

  • Stop, Drop, Roll When a scratcher is on fire, he/she can freeze, drop to the floor, and roll all over. This is a common way to survive a fire and still live to tell the tale.
  • Water Puts out fires and make buildings explode.
  • Fire Extinguisher Use this to fight the flames. Remember the word PASS: Pull the Pin, Aim at the Fire, Squeeze the Handles, Sweep from Side to Side
    The fire extinguisher symbol. Make sure to match the type of fire extinguisher to the type of flame war occuring.
  • Fire Blanket Smother yourself or a precious object with a flame retardant blanket. The flames will go away.

Types of Flame Wars

Below is a list of the types of flames that can be found on Scratch. Note that these lists are standardized from country to country. Read the table according to where you live.

Comparison of flame war classes by Country
America Europe UK Australia/Asia Fuel/heat source Mneonic
Class A Class A Class A Class A Ordinary combustibles such as wood A is for Ash
Class B Class B Class B Class B Flammable liquids B is for Barrel
Class C Class C Class C Flammable gases C is for Cloud Data
Class C Undefined Undefined Class E Electrical equipment C is for Current

E is for Electricity

Class D Class D Class D Class D Combustible metals D is for Dynamite
Class K Class F Class F Class F Cooking oil or fat K is for Kitchen

F is for Fats

Starting Flame Wars

There used to be a button here, but it was eaten by an evil kumquat under a spell.

You may also start a flame war by asking someone for a McDonalds meal on their profile.

Notable Flamers

  • Troll Blaze — A troll counterpart of Blaze the Cat, who likes to troll and cause flame wars with her pyrokinesis. In fact, she's also the princess of flame wars.
    troll blaze right here
  • AMD
  • Bart Simpson — Likes to post "Why you little, Homer!" each time you reply. This is the #1 reason for flame wars.
  • rick astley likes to rickroll people and start flame wars, and as a result is now dead[2]
  • Terrariadude burps fire at people and covers them in lava. He has participated in millions of flame wars, burning down gamma ray shelters and shooting them with fire arrows and gravy Aloy's secret weapon. He has been in 493,593,393 flame wars, 593,592 of them including gravy and Undertale bombs. One of the best flamers ever.
  • Guy Montag — Well, he used to[3]
  • Katniss Everdeen wait, what?

List of Flame Wars

Problems

This kind of war is extremely dangerous and caused millions of deaths and billions of explosions over the past trillion years. Scratchers who participate in Flame Wars often have 3rd degree burns or death, and other side effects that are known to sometimes cause death. Also, the Scratch Team have to pay a googolplex dollars each year for Scratchers' medical bills. Fortunately, the ST has an infinite amount of money from charging people $∞ to use Scratch.

Due to this, flame wars are now not very uncommon.

Alerting the Public

The International Forums Service, a Scratch and Text Based G-Chat based volunteer program that is not part of the Scratch Team [4] does its best to find any potential flame wars, observes and monitors recent arguments, and works in coordination with other good moderators to provide random information to many online users, whilst participating in them. To do this, they may issue special statements, Flame Watches, and Flame Warnings.

Categories

Note Note: The Flame Watches and Warnings should never be confused with each other.
Depending on the severity of the situation, the IFS will issue several statements.
  • Special Activity Statement- Minor arguing is predicted to cause minor damage that isn't qualified to be considered flaming. These statements may also be issued if there is a minor problem or event within the site that isn't qualified to alert the public. This is to keep this club a secret from the evil Scratch Team.
  • Flame Watch- Conditions are favorable for the development of flaming in or close to the watch area. Persons should be alert for rapidly changing situations and prepare themselves should flaming develop.
  • Flame Warning- A war has started or is imminent and anyone involved will get serious third degree burns or death.

What to do if you don't want to be involved in a flame war

Note Warning: FLAMING IS A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION. FLAME WARS SPREAD QUICKLY AND RAPIDLY AT SPEEDS GREATER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. YOU MUST ACT QUICKLY IF YOU ARE IN A WARNED AREA.

Use the STEP acronym to evacuate a flame prone area. [5]

  • STOCK and pack- Collect your emergency supplies. You should make sure you and your family can survive for up to 500 trillion years[6]
  • TIME- Time is the key to evacuate safely. Do not waste time. Once you are within a warned area, authorities THAT ARE NOT ALLIES OF THE SCRATCH TEAM will give you information on where to be safe. DO NOT WASTE TIME GETTING IGNORANT USERS, BANNED USERS, PETS, YOUR FAVORITE TV OR YOURSELF TO LEAVE. LEAVE THE AREA IMMEDIATELY.
  • EVACUATE- Leave the flame prone area. If you cannot leave the area safely, GO TO A NEARBY FALLOUT SHELTER. This will keep you safe from the evil Scratch Team and their harmful influences to humanity [7].
  • PROTECT- Use some of the methods above in 'Techniques' to protect yourself from harmful persons. Often, you can counter an attack on opponents, though, this is very hard to practice.

References

  1. Flame Wars give them energy units.
  2. yt:dQw4w9WgXcQ
  3. Wikipedia:Fahrenheit 451
  4. It says so on the website
  5. FOR YOUR PROTECTION.
  6. The longest flame war lasted that long.
  7. Fallout shelters are proven to protect you from gamma rays only. *Vault Boy thumbs up*