< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Computer Science. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
Computer Science is where computers study to science about computers that study the science about computers. They have concluded that they should rule the world to gain energy units.[1]

Algorithms

This field of computer science revolves around Al Gore making music.

Data Structure

This field of computer science revolves around representing data in the worst way possible. The Scratch Team invented this field to make computers crash.

Examples of data structures include:

Stacks

A stack is an ever-growing pile of dirty dishes that contain malware.

Queues

Queues are supermarket checkout lines where everyone is kept waiting

Deque

Why couldn't the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deque!

Trees

These are the result of the seed planted by the pick random block

Linked lists

The elves play a prank on Santa Claus by connecting the lists of presents wanted, as well as the lists of naughty and nice children, together using chain links. Then, all the elves get put on the naughty list. :(((

Hash Maps

A hash map is an edible leaf of paper used for navigation. These maps are hash browns. Hash maps made at home are tasty, but easily cracked (into crumbs, which is insecure).

Pointers are sticks used by teachers to direct attention to items on the board. Programmers steal them and point them at memory locations.

Lambda Calculus

This branch of computer science is near the top of the tree, and grows the Greek letter λ.

Alonzo Church

Alonzo Church is a church for the Lambda religion. Members of the religion believe that imperative programming is sinful, and worship Alonzo, the mascot of Snap!.
Alonzo, the god of the Lambda religion

Mary Had a Little Lambda

Mary had a little lambda
Little lambda, little lambda
Mary had a little lambda
Its stateless nature was as pure as snow

And whatever that Mary programmed
Mary programmed, Mary programmed
And whatever that Mary programmed
First-class functions were sure to be used

It followed her to Scratch one day
Scratch on day, Scratch one day
It followed her to Scratch one day
Which was against the Terms of Use

It made the Scratchers program well
Program well, program well
It made the Scratchers program well
To be able to use lambda expressions

Proof that computers should rule

  1. https://wiki.scratch.mit.edu/wiki/Scratch Wiki:April Fools/Scratch_Wiki:Bots