|This is an April Fools' Day version of Alert. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.|
Scratchers who get alerts can also have viruses downloaded on their computer, have them set on fire, be forced to watch cringy GIFs, or have Scratch Cat scratch them and take random blue items from them.
Sometimes, alerts alert random cats when the Scratch Team is sleeping, because alerts don't like the Scratch Team. A Scratch team member got banned for that, but later got unbanned. 
People who Get Less Alerts
These things get less alerts, and they rarely get banned:
- Basically everything cute in the world.
- People who have infinity degrees at both mathematics and computer science at university.
The ST said:
|“||This stuff is cute, so it won't get banned, unless it does something really really bad. We don't want cute stuff to get banned because:||”|
People who Get More Alerts
These people get more alerts, and they get banned often:
- All other superheroes.
- Peter Rabbit.
- Evil kumquats
- Colombia political maps.
- Inanimate Objects.
- People who think complex math, such as trigonometry, is too hard.
|“||We don't know why we ban these things more often, i guess we feel like it||”|
- The interview with the banned Scratch Team member can be found here.
- Excluding some prodigies, nerds, and bookworms.
- They make up the Scratch Team anyway, but they get more alerts when the alerts are in charge.
- These types of dog are always friendly to the Scratch Team.
- Excluding those ones aggressive to the ST, such as the members of ScratchX, a dog who hates math, and the residents of Dog City who survived in the Big Dog Flame War.
- These guys are wimpy weak heroes who use their weakness to their advantage. The Scratch Team likes to lick these.
- They are 99.99% more likely to make complex projects than other Scratchers.
- Sometimes with reasons, sometimes without.
- They get alerts for testing surgery on a grape.
- Especially ones that smell of foot cheese.
- Wait, who put him in this list?
- They get alerts for eating forum signatures.
- Because complex math is required to make complex projects; I told you about the simple projects.
- Scratch in the Media/Shaun's Game Academy