< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Revision as of 05:48, 1 April 2019 by Jammum (talk | contribs) (...)

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' Day version of Scratch Team. Please don't take it seriously. You can find the original here.
Paddle2See

The Scratch Team is a group of evil fluffy kittehs that are in charge of the Scratch Website. They are controled by the evil Fire Goddess Flematrana, the queen of Flame Wars. Their stated goal is to keep improving Scratch and keep the website safe, but everybody knows that their real intent is to take over the world (see the "Functions" section below). They hate creatures they chomp up their property and favorite items especially Pac-Man.

People who like cute stuff call them a "bunch of fluffeh kittehz" and "Warriors" fans identify them as clan cats.

Functions

The Scratch Team's main function is to keep extracting energy units from the website. Whenever someone writes a project, it creates between 1 and 50 energy units (depending on the complexity), and the Scratch Team extracts 100% of them. Eventually, once they receive about 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 energy units, they will have enough to take over the world. Because of this, the Scratch Team wanted to create a new program called the Scratch Mentors which contain people who want to help the Scratch Team by helping people make complex projects and be able to get more energy units.[1][2]

What they do

Members

AgentPineapple
  • Paddle2See, the evil dictator and the 3rd one[4]
  • mres, Co-dictator[5], formerly assistant dictator, now co-founder of Scratch, and father of Scratch Cat[6]
  • cheddargirl, Paddle2See's other assistant
  • Harakou, a former community moderator that found out what the ST was doing and forced them to give them the title of Scratch Team.
  • scmb1, patrol of the Scratch Team
  • AgentPineapple, a cat who likes pineapples
  • speakvisually, some cat
  • ceebee, a cat who's always fighting with speak for energy units[7]
  • natalie, oldest she-cat and mother of 2 kittens (Num-Nums and Mr. Cheez)
  • sdg1, another freshcat
  • thisandagain, a cat who, after a vicious pack of Scratchers from the Advanced Off-Topics decided to bombard him with thousands of requests to "please explain," spent several months living in the dark corners of the Project Ideas cave
  • LiFayTheGoblin, a former Scratch Mentor
  • mewtaylor, a cat who has an obsession with Taylor Swift
  • HanaKoala, a cat who thinks she's a koala
  • designerd, a cat who likes to draw and go on DeviantArt a lot
  • piccolina, a cat who plays in the orchestra and is secretly a friend to Pico
  • Kaj (not)

Previous members

andresmh, the first dictator
Lightnin, the second dictator after andresmh left

These cats used to work in the Scratch Team but have fled and ran away from the group for random reasons, or were eaten by evil kumquats.

  • andresmh, the first dictator and the founder of the Scratch Team, who later fled to Antarctica
  • Lightnin, the second dictator
  • Jens, andresmh's servant
  • jay, Lightnin's servant
  • ericr, patrol of the Scratch Team
  • RJLance, some cat
  • JSO, a cat who quit the job a few hours after joining
  • dolphingirl36, former Scratch Mentor, actually a group of 36 cats and a dolphin disguised as a cat
  • fullmoon, a cat who transformed into a wolf every full moon
  • technoboy10, the mechanic of the team. He used to be one of us, but now he's one of them.[8]
  • ricarose, a cat who tries to sleep on the keyboards of others and is a friend of speakvisually


Portraits of some members

An evil kumquat ate them all. >:)

Complaints

Some people have complained about the lack of diversity in the Scratch Team because they currently are all kittehs, apart from Harakou, who is a pony[9]. There have been suggestions to add bunnehs and evil kumquats, but the people who suggested those were hit by the banhammer.

References

  1. https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/73946434/
  2. They also brainwash people into giving them energy units using Music Projects.
  3. HA HA HA HA
  4. https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/73946434/#comments-45667974
  5. Mres is the most liked member of the Scratch Team. He is the co-dictator of them. Paddle2See lets him do what he likes and he gets free drinks and food. Nobody in the Scratch Team is mean to him. People who want to destroy him are permanently banned. Paddle2See pays Mres $5q per day and creates projects loads of projects about him.
  6. https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/73946434/#comments-45510338
  7. https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/73946434/#comments-45667974
  8. actually a secret agent that's working undercover as a scratch team member. don t tell them or we ll find you
  9. Neigh! 🐎